Standard (EADGBE)

Verse 1

You’re a woman that’s what you say

I say you work in mysterious ways

 I’m on my knees every other day

Oh Woman

Verse 2

I was born with shoes and a long sleeve shirt

Straight into the barn where the hoof prints hurt

But I was twelve years old before I said a dirty word

Oh Woman

Verse 3

I drink my coffee straight from the tap

No cream no sugar I take it black

No bread no wine he can have it back

Oh Woman

Verse 4

I was dreaming about the time I caught a nasty influenza

My head was hot and melting causing mass hallucinations

There were people on the ceiling screaming “Lead in wrong directions”

Oh Woman

Verse 5

You’re a woman that’s what you say

I say you work in mysterious ways

I scream your name in vain they say

Oh Woman

Verse 6

I was born with boots and a half hidden tail

With a sprout of mistletoe peaking through the scales

I was 21 before I spent the Sabbath in jail

Oh Woman

Verse 7

I drink my Koolaid down like poison

Raise my glass to all the other children

With his blood we’ll meet our mothers in heaven

Oh Woman

Verse 8

I was killing every brain cell with a cleaner for the kitchen

In the hopes I’d be too blind to see the depth of my depression

Somebody saved my life posed as a kitchen cleaner salesman

Oh Woman

Verse 9

You’re a woman that’s what you say

I say you work in mysterious ways

One look at you and I’ve turned gray

Oh Woman

Verse 10

I was born with cleats and a pocketknife

I traded my cleats for a secondhand wife

I traded true love for eternal life

Oh Woman

Verse 11

I drink my whiskey straight from the source

It blows my brain and it rips my voice

But I’d drown in that river if I had the choice

Oh Woman

Verse 12

I was killing every brain cell with a paper bag addiction

The vapors of adhesion take away my dark condition

I danced across the ceiling without shame or inhibition

Oh Woman