Standard (EADGBE)
Verse 1
I drink whiskey when I'm tired of being sober
I drink Drano when I'm tired of being hungover and getting older
Chorus
All the trouble is inside my head
My best friends are dying but enemies are dead
Verse 2
I got this lovely girl who plants roses in my garden
Her lovely husband he plants landmines in my yard after dark
Verse 3
I spent all night learning how to dance
When I got home next morning my poor puppy dog he peed his pants, three legged stance
Verse 4
I had so much to drink that I threw up in the sink
Now my woman thinks that I need to see a shrink and that really stinks
Verse 5
I hear the best donuts you can get in prison
Are the rubber kind that are big enough for sittin, I aint kiddin
Verse 6
Freedom's foes carry sorrows off to bed
But heroes drown them all until they're dead, that's what I said