Standard (EADGBE)

I was watching my TV one night when they broke in with a special report

 About some devistating earthquake in Peru

There were thirty thousand crushed to death, even more were buried alive

 On the Richter scale it measured 8.2

 And I said, "God, please answer me one question?"

"Why'd they have to interrupt 'The Simpsons' just for this?"

What a drag, 'cause I was taping it and everything

 And now I'll have to wait for the rerun to see the part of the show I missed

Chorus

Why does this always happen?

Why does this always happen to me?

Why does this always happen?

(Why) Why does this always happen to me?

Ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba

Ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba

I was driving down the highway when all the traffic slowed to a crawl

 There was a twelve-car pile-up, everybody dead

 And I saw brains and guts and vital organs splattered everywhere

 As well as my friend Robert's disembodied head

 And I thought - Poor Rob, I just had lunch with him

 Hey, wait a minute, he still owes me money - what a jerk

 Well, there's five bucks that I'm never gonna see again

 Plus now, on top of everything else, it looks like I'm gonna be late to work

Chorus

Why does this always happen?

Why does this always happen to me?

Why does this always happen?

(Why) Why does this always happen to me?

Ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba

Ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba

Ba ba ba ba, ba ba

 Oh, the other day, my boss said we were running low on toner

And he told me I should buy another case

 Well, I told him I was busy, but he still just kept on asking

 So, I turned around and stabbed him in the face (right in the face)

 Oh, and wouldn't you know it, my knife got stuck

I guess that's probably bound to happen now and then

 But I'm afraid I may have bent the tip a little

 And I know that blade will never ever be quite as sharp again (quite as sharp again)

Oh, tell me

Why does this always happen?

Why does this always happen to me?

Why does this always happen?

(Why) Why does this always happen to me?

Why does this always happen?

Why does this always happen to me?

Why does this always happen?

(Why) Why does this always happen to me?

Ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba

Ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba

Ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba

Ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba

Ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba

Ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba

Ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba

Ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba

Ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba

Ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba

Ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba

Ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba

Ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba

Ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba

Ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba

Ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba