Standard (EADGBE)

Oh the sand keeps falling through the hourglass

 And there's no way you're gonna slow it down

 You say we gotta treasure each moment

 Who knows how long we're gonna be around

 Yeah you keep on telling me life is short

 And it's hard to disagree with what you say

 But if time is so precious, why ya wasting mine

 Cause I'm always reading, Always deleting

Every useless piece of garbage that you send my way

 Every stupid hoax

 All those corny jokes

 Stop forwarding that crap to me

 Well I don't need tons of cringe inducing puns

 Stop forwarding that crap to me

 No it isn't ok if you brighten my day

 With some cut and pasted hackneyed Hallmark poetry

 And I didn't request a personality test

 Stop forwarding - that crap to me

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh...

You're sending virus-laden bandwidth-hogging attachments

 to every single person you know

 You're passing round a link to some dumb thing on YouTube

 That everybody else already saw three years ago

 And wacky badly Photoshopped billboards

 were never that amusing to me

 And I just can't believe you believe those urban legends

 But I have high hopes someone will point you toward Snopes

And debunk that crazy junk you're spewing constantly

 No I don't want a bowl of Chicken Soup for the Soul

 Stop forwarding that crap to me

 Send more top 10 lists and I'll slash my wrists

 Please stop forwarding that crap to me

 Well I'm sorry I can't accept your paranoid rant

 And I don't want the Neiman Marcus cookie recipe

 Won't you kindly refrain, cause it's hurting my brain

 Stop forwarding... that crap to me

Like glittery hearts and unicorns and pictures of somebody's cat

 Now tell me in what alternate reality would I care about something like that?

 And by the way your quotes from George Carlin aren't really George Carlin

 Mr. Rogers never fought the Viet Cong

 And Bill Gates is never gonna give me something for nothing

 And I highly doubt some dead girl is gonna kill me

If I don't pass your letter along...

Well now I know you're wishing

 I'll sign your petition

 But stop forwarding that crap to me

 And I don't want to read your series

 Of conspiracy theories

 Just stop forwarding that crap to me

 And your two million loser friends

 All have my address now

 Cause you never figured out the way to BCC

 Now I gotta insist

 Take me off of your list

 Stop forwarding-- that crap to me

Stop forwarding that crap to me

Stop forwarding that crap to me

Stop forwarding that crap to me

(repeats)

Ahhhhhhh....