Standard (EADGBE)

Verse 1

 Uncle Vernon, Uncle Vernon,

 Inde-pendent as a hog on ice.

 He's a big-shot, down there at the slaughterhouse,

 Plays ac-cordion for Mis-ter Weiss.

Verse 2

 Uncle Biltmore, and Uncle William,

 Made a million during World War II.

 But they're tightwads, and they're cheapskates,

 And they'll never give a dime to you.

Interlude

Verse 3

 Auntie Mame has gone in-sane; she lives,

 In the doorway of an old ho-tel.

 And the radio,

 Is playing opera,

 All she ever says is; "go to Hell".

Verse 4

 Uncle Violet, flew as pilot,

 And there ain't no pretty girls in France.

 Now he runs a tiny little bookie joint;

 They say he never keeps it in his pants.

Verse 5

 Uncle Bill will never leave a will,

 And the tumour is as big as an egg.

 Has a mistress; she's Puerto Rican,

 And I heard she has a woo-den leg.

Interlude

Verse 6

 Uncle Phil can't live without his pills;

He has emphy-sema and he's almost blind.

 And we must find out where the money is,

 Get it now, before he loses his mind.

Verse 7

 Uncle Vernon, Uncle Vernon,

 Inde-pendent as a hog on ice.

 He's a big-shot, down there at the slaughterhouse,

 Plays ac-cordion for Mis-ter Weiss.

CHORD DIAGRAMS: