Standard (EADGBE)

1. Feminism

 I believe that women have the right to walk the streets at night

 without being afraid for their lives

I believe that women have the right to choose what happens to her body

 Without suffering the judgement of the conservative right

 And I believe that women have the right to wear the clothes they like

 Without being treated like dirt

 And I think we men are pathetic how we seem to judge aesthetic

 As the measure of a woman's worth

 I'm ashamed on behalf of my sex for making women feel like objects

 Fuck I love boobs though, I just really love them

 Fuck I love boobs though, I just wanna rub them

 They're just so jooby, they make me feel groovy

 I would rather watch boobs than a movie

 Be doop be doo. I just really like boobs.

2. Poverty (altruism)

I believe people are entitled to basic human rights

Whether they are rich or their poor

I believe a world where no children are starving

Is a world worth fighting for

And I try to remind myself, even when I'm struggling

How incredibly lucky I am

And I don't think it's ok that the luxuries I crave

Should come at the expense of my fellow man

I'm sure I could give a little more

To alleviate the suffering of the poor.

Fuck I love boobs though.

I just really love them

I don't really mind if I am behind

Below or above them.

They're just so jubbly

They make me feel lovely

I'd rather own boobs than a pub

Be doop be doop doop doo doo doo

I really love boobs.

3. Enviromentalism

I believe the that planet we live in is a living organism

And we must treat her carefully

I don't think we can assume we can just go on consuming

Her resources indefinitely.

The earth's not a bottomless pit

And we can all do our little bit.

Fuck I love boobs though

I just really care for 'em

They're equally fun when they're aged 21

Or octogenarian.

They're just so flappy

They make me feel happy

I'd rather eat boobs than a bap

Be doop be doo

I just really love boobs.

 Evolutionary theory says bosoms are buttock-like protrusions

 Designed to tempt men in situations when

 They can't get a glimpse of your bum

  ( fine)

I find such hypotheses dumb, it's like the one that says

 Lipstick is for making your lips look more

 Like the lips of a happy vagina

 Since they said that I can't look my great aunt in the eye

Why'd they have to say that, oh why?

 From that first little suck of colostrum

To the grope of the the nurse in the old people's hostel

 We're just fucking monkeys in shoes

 Will always love boobs

 i Will always love boobs