5 Poofs And 2 Pianos Chords

Standard (EADGBE)

 OAbviously I don't want to infer that being inE/G♯vited onto Friday Night with Wossy

 isn't wonderfully affirming,F♯m and I know I Eoughta

Aappreciate the risk you took, the bookers who agreed to book

E/G♯ F♯m

 aE chap who tends to talk about the kinda things that get the BBC in hot water.

 And I A6don't want to seem greedy, I'm just saying

 IE'd like to be here every week if that's OK.

Fo7(or E7b9/F)

And, if you'll hear me out, I think I've got a way

 in which F♯mwe could do it Epretty easiDly.

 You can leave all the boring details to Eme.

 It's a A6brilliant idea, a Eadd2truly Aoriginal F♯mconcAept.

A6No one in Britain has Eadd2ever dAone anything like it E/Byet.

Picture this - imagine if we had

 fAive poofs and E/G♯two pianos F♯m- yeah, it's a Ewicked iDdea.

 Why Asettle for a quartet of E/G♯queers

 When there's a D/F♯possibility of a Epenta-poofter-piano-posse here?

 FAive poofs and E/G♯two pianos F♯m- yeah, Eit'll be Dace:

 a Ahundred percent more piaE/G♯nos and twenty five perDcent more Agays.

 Pickup: E F♯ G♯

 IA know, I know, I've seen the problem too.

 TE/Ahere's a rumour I am straight, it's true.

 ID/At hurts to admit it, but I'm about as Dmbent

 as Wossy himself or DmFiddy Cent.

 BAut I've already thought it through.

 DE/A'you know there's preachers in America who reckon they can do

 sexuDality conversions. I've heard them assert

 they can D7cure a man of trouser love and turn him onto skirt.

 Well I E7don't see why they couldn't pull the same trick in reverse, and we'd have -

 fAive poofs and E/G♯two pianos F♯m- yeah, it's a ErevoDlution

 and Aprobably the best soE/G♯lution

 to the problem you're Dinevitably having with an Eeven number of homosexuals.

 Pickup: E F♯ G♯

 YAes I know your producers might suspect

 tE/Ahat the licence-paying public will object

 tD/Ao the Corporation having Dyet

 another homoDmsexual to pay.

 TAhe Daily Mail will bring the big guns out.

 JE/Aan Moir will be frothing at the mouth,

 wD/Ariting further brilliant stuff about

 tDmhe myth about being both happy and gEay.

 But F♯mall that moral F♯mindiAgnF♯matioC♯n

 will D/F♯disappear when they seeA/E

 those Dfour lovely guys and Ame

Bmsinging in perfect harEmony.

 And F♯mall Athose angry letter writers,

 likeD/A 'Disgusted' from the Isle of Wight

 and F♯m'MadA' from Hull and 'Outraged' from Leeds

 and 'ESlightly Annoyed' from E7Berwick on Fo7Tweed,

 will F♯minstantly Echange their Dtune.

 They'll be Ableeding-heart liberals by ESaturday noon.

 They'll be Dgiving their grandchildren up for adoption

 in the Ehope that a gay married E7couple will aFo7dopt 'em.

 They'll be Fputting rainbow stickers on their cars,

  G E (Bass line - A

E F E G A)

and cutting holes in the arse of their leather strides.

And watching 2 pianos and 5 guys

Watching 2 pianos and 5 guys

G (picks up on the G in the bass line)

Watching 2 pianos and five ..1, 2 ,3, 4,

 5C poofs and G/B2 pianos Am- yeah, Git'll be Fgrand.

 You can Cnever have too many G/Bpianos or Ftoo much Cman.

 5C poofs and G/B2 pianos - Ammaybe we could out Jamie FCullum.

GMake it a trio of pianos and a Fbig gay half Cdozen.