Standard (EADGBE)

Hey honey have you gained some weight in your rear-end

The dress you wear reminds me of my old girlfriend

And where'de you get those shoes i think there pretty lame

would you stop talking 'cause im trying to watch the game

(chorus)

If your a man who wants to live

a long and happy life

these are the things you don't say to your wife.

I planned a hunting trip next week on your birthday

I didn't ask you but i knew i'de be ok

Go make some dinner while i watch this fishing show

I taped it over our old wedding video

(chorus)

Your cooking is ok but not like mother makes

The diamond in the ring i bought you is a fake

Your eyes look puffy dear, are you feeling ill

Happy aniversary i bought you a treadmill

(chorus)

If you a man who doesn't want to get killed with a knife,

These are the things you don't say to your wife.