Standard (EADGBE)

In the woods of Northern Michigan, he made his home

Didn't ask much from the world, just wanted to be alone

He got his first real blade at thirteen; that's when it all began

And soon the creatures of the forest called him "Whittlin' Man" - yeah!

  He whittled all day and he whittled all night

  He whittled, whittled, whittled everything in sight

  He whittled on a stick and he whittled on his shoe

  And if you come too close, gonna whittle you too

Keep a safe distance if you can

  'Cause you're never safe around Whittlin' Man

Had a stump to sit on; had some wood, had his trusty knife

Whittled out a house, a car, and he whittled himself a wife(Such a beautiful wife!)

Whittled out four kids, a swimming pool and a big leer jet

And so he wouldn't miss Saved By The Bell, when he whittled a T.V. set - yeah!

He'd whittle if its light, and he'd whittle if its dark

And if Noah was around, well he'd whittle him an ark

He'd whittle something new and he'd whittle something old

He'd whittle something hot and he'd whittle something rather chilly

Keep a safe distance if you can

'Cause you're never safe around Whittlin' Man

Some say "Whittlin' Man's a genius", still others say "He's just dumb"

He whittled off a foot, an ear, three fingers and his left thumb... Boy, is he dumb!

That won't stop him, no it won't - he'll whittle through thick and thin

And once he's whittled everything, he'll just whittle it all again - yeah!

He'd whittle if it's white, and he'd whittle if it's black

And he'd whittle on a duck 'til the duck can't quack

He'd whittle if it's dry, and he'd whittle if it's juicy

Whittled on Desi and he whittled on Lucy

Whittled JFK and he whittled Jackie O

Whittled old Larry and Curly and Moe

And he whittled Frank Zappa and he whittled Tipper Gore

Whittle, whittle, whittle 'til he can't no more

Whittled Shamu and he'd whittle on Jaws

Whittled the Easter Bunny and he whittled Santa Claus

He'll whittle, whittle, whittle just fast as he can

  Whittle till he's dead - he's the Whittlin' Man...