Standard (EADGBE)

Intro

(Spoken):

  One, two.

Verse 1

 If you ever hear a noise in the night;

 Your body starts to sweat, it shakes and shivers in fright.

 You go and sleep with your mother; she hates your guts,

 She knows that you love her, so she holds you tight,

 All through the night, until the broad day-light.

 And when she doesn't come home, you have to sleep a-lone,

 Then you wet your bed and I think that's sad;

 For a girl of nine-teen, it's more than sad; it's ob-scene.

Chorus 1

(Spoken):

  One, two.

Verse 2

 And your girlfriend sweet; little seventeen,

 She's got her layered hair and her flared jeans.

 You know what that means? She's just a little queen,

 She shares your London flat;

 She thinks that London's where it's at; although it stinks!

 And when it rains, you wear your hat,

 And your plum coloured PVC, wet look maxi-mac.

 You tie your ginger hair back in a bun;

 You're the ugliest creature, under the sun.

Chorus 2

(Spoken):

  One, two.

Solo

Chorus 3

(Spoken):

  One, two.

Verse 3

 And you think it's about time that you died,

 And I a-gree; so you decide on suicide.

 You tried, but you never quite carried it off;

 You only wanted to die in order to show off.

 And if you think you're gonna bleed all over me;

 You're even wronger than you'd normally be.

 And the only things you want to see are kitsch,

 The only thing you want to be is rich.

 Your little pink, up-pointed nose be-gins to twitch;

I know, you know; you're just a little bitch.

Chorus 4

(Spoken):

  One, two.

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