Standard (EADGBE)

Intro

Chorus

 I want a butt ugly slut with a bad drinkin' problem

 And a jealous old man in jail

I want one so ugly she'll crack a mirror

 And so fat she'll knock a needle off a scale

Long as she'll buy me a new Zebco

 I don't care if she's built like a blue whale

 I want a butt ugly slut with a bad drinkin' problem

 And a jealous old man in jail

 Lord she's ignorant, but she's ugly

 Yeah she's lazy, but she's mean

 I been to 2 tent revivals and a chicken fight and I ain't never seen nothin'

 Like when my little Wildebeast tears into a dozen jelly-filled Krispe Kremes

Chorus

 I want a butt ugly slut with a bad drinkin' problem

 And a jealous old man in jail

I want one so ugly she'll crack a mirror

 And so fat she'll knock a train of a rail

I don't care if she cheats on me

 'long she sends me checks in the mail

 I want a butt ugly slut with a bad drinkin' problem

 And a jealous old man in jail

 I want a butt ugly slut with a bad drinkin' problem

 And a jealous old man in jail

 Hey yodelay-hoo-hoo