Standard (EADGBE)
I dont like hummus, I hate long lines
Nosey neighbors and Venetian blinds
Chirpy news anchors alter my mood
Im offended by buzzwords like awesome and dude
I look like a train wreck I feel like a blob
Til you get to know me you may think Im a snob
But Im closer to heaven than Ive ever been
I dont eat sushi I dont smoke grass
I dont wear pajamas I dont drive fast
I hate idle gossip and wing tip shoes
Slick politicians give me the blues
I dont like limos I dont play golf
I dont own a rifle that will blow your head off
But Im closer to heaven than Ive ever been
Im riding the wave from cradle to grave
Im learning to feel my hands on the wheel
I love my friends I love my wife
My four little babies are the light of my life
I love Sissy Spacek I love Guy Clark
All the biscuits and gravy I can eat with a fork
I dont want to be famous who gives a damn
I just want to be happy wherever I am
And Im closer to heaven than Ive ever been
Im closer to heaven than Ive ever been