Standard (EADGBE)

Here we have a dust free dining set

 we guarantee it won't collect a speck

freeing up the children to instead grow into your molding

heed more of your scolding, go early to their new self-making beds

it seems like you'd be tired of losing face

 like you'd want to put the children in their place

 the more you have to tell them to do their chores

 the more you run the risk of being ignored

if you're lucky they'll turn out as good as you

 you tell them that they're good kids but you know that it's not true

 your father drank a little, you're on liver number two

progress has a way of feigning ease

convenient new inventions beg and tease

 for though it is impossible to cure a husband bent on cheating

the oxygen depleting... a child who's always bragging

a wife's persistent nagging

we're equipped to live as though it were

(repeat "if you're lucky" part)

end on D