Standard (EADGBE)

Verse

 My cat died and I quickly poured myself some gin

 Did she die from old age or was it for my sins

 God I loved her oh so much

 Miss her little kitty touch

 Does she miss me does she care

 Oh I miss her kitty stare

 Do you have a little time

 Would you like to ease my mind

 Talk for hours and never stop

 Chop your head off

 Be a lighter person

Brighter person nicer

 But you've heard it all before

Chorus

 So ding dong There's the doorbell hello man in white

 He's gonna make you all well Getcha through the night

 But hey now You don't feel better As you take your fresh bromide

 Maybe this man of letters lied

Let me tell you 'bout a dream I had the other night

You were in it boy you sure gave me a super fright

I was walking down the street

Downtown by the DMV

You popped out behind a door

It was odd you were on all fours

Do you have some time to spare

You were barking at a bear

It said hey you'd better stop

Chop your head off

Be a lighter person

Brighter person

Nicer

But you've heard it all before

Chorus

So ding dong

There's the doorbell

Hello man in red

He's gonna make you all well

Getcha into bed

But hey now

You don't feel better

As you wake and slowly rise

Maybe this smooth jet-setter lied

Instrumental break

Stick around one minute more

I'm smarter than you think

Do I sound like an old bore

Oh man it's just the drink

I didn't always hit the gin

There were times when I fit in

They'll never know how much I tried

Did I tell you my cat died

Do you have a little time

Would you like to feel sublime

Run away and never stop

Chop your head off

Be a lighter person

Brighter person

Nicer

But you've heard it all before

Chorus

So ding dong

There's the doorbell

Hello man in black

He's gonna make you all well

There's no going back

But hey now you don't feel better

As you drift off in the tide

Maybe this jack the ripper lied

And you died