Standard (EADGBE)

Intro

 Your boyfriend, he

 Went down on one knee

 Well, could it be

 He's only got one knee ?

 I tried to surprise you

 With Vodka - or Tizer

I can't quite quite remember

 But you didn't thank me

You didn't even thank me

Because you never do

 Your boyfriend, he

 Has the gift of the gab

 Or, could it be

 The gift of the grab ?

 I tried to surprise you

 I lay down beside you

 And ... nothing much happened

 And you didn't phone me

You didn't even phone me

Because it's not your style

 Your boyfriend, he

 Has displayed to me

 More than just a

 Real hint of cruelty

 I tried to surprise you

 I crept up behind you

 With a homeless chihuahua

 You "coo"-ed for an hour

 You handed him back and said :

 "You'll never guess - I'm bored now"