Standard (EADGBE)

Verse 1

I'm the guitar guy at the party

I'm the guitar guy and I think I'll drink a Coke and Bacardi

It might seem like i'm just havin' fun but I'm

actually not, i'm trying to sleep with your girlfriend

Listen to me as I play this song 'cause I'm

gonna play it regardless

Verse 2

I'm only playin' three chords so

I can make eye contact

with different women in the room

I'm gonna try and sleep with your girlfriend

But i'm gonna make it sound like we have a really

special bond and we should keep it secret

Spoken Verse:

You know i think your boyfriend really takes you for granted

When was the last time he told you that your eyes look like space crystals?

If you wanna come by my place later it'd be cool, it's not gonna be like

 last time. I totally understand why that freaked you out.

Verse 3

Maybe if I play 'Free Fallin'' then

someone will give me a handjob

Or maybe they'll just sit on my lap and the

friction will cause me to have an erection

an erection I'll make sure you won't feel 'cause i'm classy

and I'm gonna shift it to the left

and I'm gonna shift it to the right

and I'm gonna create a mental image in my head like

guys in prison taking a group shower

Verse 4

Here's my story. I'm gonna make sure that I tell it in the proper order

I went to arts camp as a kid and I played the recorder.

Then I learned that recorders are for losers and guitars get chicks and

now when I feel like a loser I take this out and sing 'Wonderwall' by Oasis

Verse 5

I play mostly covers,

Cat Stevens and the Beatles and a couple of others

I do some original songs too but they're not as well received...

 "Christ is God, Christ is God"

Outro"

But I still want that handjob

'Cause I'm the guitar guy

I'm the guitar guy,

I'm the guitar guy,

I'm the guitar GUY-I-I-I.

-I hope you enjoy; my little droogies.