Standard (EADGBE)

 When your pubic hair's on fire,something's wrong

 When you think you're the Messiah, something's wrong

 When you mistake a plane for Venus, something's wrong

 When your girlfriend's got a penis, something's wrong (2x)

Chorus

Aaaaaaaaaah... something's wrong

  Aaaaaaaaaah... something's wrong

When you like music more than life, something's wrong

When you start sleeping as you drive, something's wrong

When your favourite drink is thinner, something's wrong

When you're proud to be a sinner, something's wrong

(chorus)

When a canary drives a tractor,something's wrong

When your president's an actor, something's wrong

When your jacket's plagued with dandruff, something's wrong

If you think that this song matters, something's wrong

(repeat chorus)