Standard (EADGBE)
Riff 1
I WAS PISSED AND DISORDERLY, AGAIN LAST FRIDAY NIGHT
I GOT THROWN OUT OF THE PUB JUST AFTER NINE
ITS NOT THE FIRST TIME THAT ITS HAPPENED
BUT IF I REMEMBER RIGHT, I THINK THEY CAUGHT ME PISSING IN THE FIRE
WALTZIN' TRIPPIN' TO THE CAR PARK, TOOK A SHORT CUT DOWN A LANE
WHEN A FUCKING CAT JUMPED OUT A RUBBISH TIN
SO I PICKED THE CUNT UP BY ITS TAIL ,AND LOOKED HIM UP AND DOWN
NOW FANCY THROWING AWAY A PERFECTLY GOOD CAT LIKE him
Chorus
BUT THAT FUCKIN' CATS BACK, NOW HOW'D HE DO THAT
I SLAMMED ME FOOT RIGHT UP HIS BUM AND KICKED THE CUNT TO KINGDOM COME
NOW WHERE THE FUCK DID HE COME FROM THAT FUCKING CATS BACK
Riff 2
I took all the back streets, going home that night,
Cause I didnt wanna end up in the can
And Id just turned into my street after stopping at the lights
When some big prick went and trodded on me hand
I finally got to my place, and tripped ass up on the lawn
Then I spewed me guts up on the cat
I remember eating peanuts and a soggy pie with sauce
But Im fucked if I remember eating that
[back to chorus]
Riff 3
I slipped in beside me misses, the wrong way up in bed
With me feet where me head was supposed to be
I thought her bed socks where her nightcap
And her knee caps where her tits
But her rotten breath still smelt the same to me
And I just crashed like that till morning
The wrong way up in bed
And Christ I had the horrors when i woke
I though me missus snatch was that fucking cat again
And worse than that some cunt had cut its throat
[back to chorus]