Standard (EADGBE)

Riff 1

 I WAS PISSED AND DISORDERLY, AGAIN LAST FRIDAY NIGHT

 I GOT THROWN OUT OF THE PUB JUST AFTER NINE

 IT’S NOT THE FIRST TIME THAT IT’S HAPPENED

 BUT IF I REMEMBER RIGHT, I THINK THEY CAUGHT ME PISSING IN THE FIRE

 WALTZIN' TRIPPIN' TO THE CAR PARK, TOOK A SHORT CUT DOWN A LANE

 WHEN A FUCKING CAT JUMPED OUT A RUBBISH TIN

 SO I PICKED THE CUNT UP BY ITS TAIL ,AND LOOKED HIM UP AND DOWN

 NOW FANCY THROWING AWAY A PERFECTLY GOOD CAT LIKE him

Chorus

 BUT THAT FUCKIN' CATS BACK, NOW HOW'D HE DO THAT

 I SLAMMED ME FOOT RIGHT UP HIS BUM AND KICKED THE CUNT TO KINGDOM COME

 NOW WHERE THE FUCK DID HE COME FROM THAT FUCKING CATS BACK

Riff 2

I took all the back streets, going home that night,

Cause I didn’t wanna end up in the can

And I’d just turned into my street after stopping at the lights

When some big prick went and trodded on me hand

I finally got to my place, and tripped ass up on the lawn

Then I spewed me guts up on the cat

I remember eating peanuts and a soggy pie with sauce

But I’m fucked if I remember eating that

[back to chorus]

Riff 3

I slipped in beside me misses, the wrong way up in bed

With me feet where me head was supposed to be

I thought her bed socks where her nightcap

And her knee caps where her tits

But her rotten breath still smelt the same to me

And I just crashed like that till morning

The wrong way up in bed

And Christ I had the horrors when i woke

I though me missus snatch was that fucking cat again

And worse than that some cunt had cut its throat

[back to chorus]