Festival Of Farts Chords

Standard (EADGBE)

 IC come from an outback town where fFuckin nothin gCrows

 No wFheat no sheep soC we cant even Ghost an annual Gshow

 But wCe got somethin special there that sFets our town Capart

 CFoz each year in a Cshed we hold the Gfestival of fCarts

  [C) F C

Theres displays and competitions And entries from afar

 And thosFe that cant get Cinto town justG send in littleG jars

 And oCld fat sarge the local cop with cliFpboard and a Cpen

 UnscrewFs the lid and takeCs a whiff then scGores em 1 to C10

 He'll give you 2C points for Aroma

 2F for the bouquCet

 2F for fermentCation

 And 2G more for decay

 ACnd two for presentation of the fanFcy little jarsC

 And a mFedal for the beCst fart at the feGstival of fCarts

 ACnd you should see the mob this year That crFamed into the Cshed

 HeaFr the big guns bClazing In the fGarting talent QGUest

 WCith old sarge on a megaphone as he rFeads the riot Cact

 '' Now setFtle down you baCstards, can you hGear me at the Cback

 NCow we'll give em all a go alright, and Fbutt them cigaCrettes

 And aFny of you cunts pClay up tonight, i'll bGust ur fuckin hGead''

 And Che unfolds his directors chair And squaFts on his fat Carse

 To adFjudicate the enCtries in the fGestival of fCarts

 He'll give you 2C points for Aroma

 2F for the bouquCet

 2F for fermentCation

 And 2G more for decay

 And tCwo for presentation, stFyle and grace and cClass

 And a Fmedal for the bCest fart at the fGestival of fCarts

 Then Cthe crowd roars its approval As the fFirst bloke lets oneC go

 Fuckin thuFnder from down unCder To oGpen up the shoGw

 Then Ca double burblin gurgler With a cFhilli afterbCurn

 Then aF downdraft knacker clCanger Shit that mGust have fuckin hCurt

 And the siClence single singer That toFok us by surCprise

 And a noFtchous nostril buCrner That bruGng tears to our eGyes

 And oCld sarge the cranky bastard Sat there addFing up the mCarks

 As popFular as eCmbroids at the feGstival of fCarts

 coz he'll get 2C points for Aroma

 2F for the bouquCet

 2F for fermentCation

 And 2G more for decay

 And tCwo for presentation, stFyle and grace and cClass

 And a meFdal for the beCst fart at the feGstival of fCarts

 But the hiCghlight of the show this year Was twoF kids with a goaCt

 That they'd fFed on rocks and rCotten eggs And dGragged in on a roGpe

 And as oneC young fella grabbed his horns to liFne old billy uCp

 His mateF just warned the ground the goaCts arse and feck Gkicked him in the

 gCuts

(C (F C

And that old goat fired a fuckin beauty Like a shotgun goin off

  And fired a Flethal load of grCavel shrapnel Scared sGhit out of the moGb

 And as theCy all dived for cover and hiFt the deck in feCar

 Old sargFe just kept on mCarkin buck shot wGhizzin past his eCars

 He'd give em 2C points for Aroma

 2F for the bouquCet

 2F for fermentCation

 And 2G more for decay

 And all inC all that bloated goat had pFrobably scored aC ten

 Except his faFrtin shit and shoCt old fuckin saGrge arse over heaGd

 Then with Call of the confusion And no Fcunt keepin scorCe

 And oFld sarge fuckin sCcreamin They just pGissed off out theG door

 And even whCen the dust had settled NFo-one seemed to Ccare

 that they'd fFucked off with the mCedal Coz they'd wGon it fair and sqCuare

 That goat got C2 points for Aroma

 2F for the bouquCet

 2F for fermentCation

 And 2G more for decay

 And tChree big cheers from all of us For pFay back on old sCarge

 and a Fmedal for the Cbest fart at the Gfestival of fCarts

 That goat got C2 points for Aroma

 2F for the bouquCet

 2F for fermentCation

 And 2G more for decay

 And tChree big cheers from all of us For wFingin poor old sCarge

 and a mFedal for the bCest fart at the fGestival of faCrts