Standard (EADGBE)

 Chord Progression Throughout:

Yo. All the rappers claim to not give a fuck.

Well step aside bitches, cause I give the lowest amount of fuck humanly possible.

What?!

(I don't a give a fuck...)

About anything, fuck everyone and fuck everything, what

(I don't give a fuck...)

 I literally don't give a fuck about anything

I don't give a fuck about motherfuckin' anything

People care about shit, I say fuck everything

 Fuck you, fuck me, fuck the sky, fuck trees, fuck the sun

 I don't need heat or Vitamin D!

And fuck toasters. I don't need to cook my bread

And fuck coasters. I use a little plate instead

And fuck roosters. With their useless cockadoodledoo

 We invented the alarm clocks. We no longer need you

Don't give a fuck about chairs. I prefer to stand

And fuck air conditioners - I got a ceiling fan

And fuck the the movie the fan, staring westly snipes

 Demolition man's the only snipes movie I like

And fuck liking shit. I don't even like the stuff that I like

Don't give a fuck about not liking all the shit I don't like

Like tissues. Fuck them! I blow my nose on the couch

 And fuck my nostrils and my sense of smell I breathe through my mouth

Don't give a fuck about seeing bitch, fuck my eyes

Fuck physical perception yo, I'd rather be blind

Fuck time, seconds are too short and minutes are a joke

 And hours are way too long, they should be half an hour at most

And fuck coasts, who gives a fuck about where water meets land

And fuck boats, just because you float you think you're so fucking bad

And fuck jokes, I don't need to be funny all the time

 My dog has a tumor and he's probably gonna die, but...

Chorus

Walked into a coffee shop and ordered a cup

The girl says "small, medium, large?"

I say "bitch I don't give a fuck"

She said "I can't process your order if you don't pick a size"

 I said "fine, I'll take a large, but I still don't give a fuck, alright?"

etcetera etcetera, the lyrics are all below, but the chord rhythm is exactly the same.

Don't give a fuck about beverage size options motherfucker

And I don't give a fuck about liquids either

They're all wet and shit and tend to spill all over the place

 Like human semen when I get it all over my face

I'm not gay, I just don't give a fuck about straight sex

And fuck my dick, I'll pee and cum out of my mouth instead.

Fuck biological functions, fuck the human body

 I prefer the body of a bat with the head of a coyote

And fuck birth, entering the world of space & time is a bitch

Searching for purpose in the random universe sucks dick

Is it deterministic or am I free to choose my way

 Did I choose to not give a fuck about ice cube trays

If I want ice I'll go to the fucking corner store and buy a bag

Filling you up and waiting for the water to freeze is a motherfucking drag

You know what? Fuck the word fuck, I don't need to use it

 I'll replace it with the word chainsaw for this chorus

(I don't a give a chainsaw...)

About anything, chainsaw everyone and chainsaw everything, what

(I don't give a chainsaw...)

 I literally don't give a chainsaw about anything

If there was a contest to see who doesn't give a fuck the most

I wouldn't win cause I don't give a fuck about winning yo

I don't even give a fuck about not giving a fuck,

 so I do give a fuck... wait, what?

(I give a fuck...)

About everything, I love everyone and care about everything

(I give a fuck...)

 I literally care about every motherfucking thing