Standard (EADGBE)

 Intro

Keep your windows down

 Catch a chill if you will

 To turn a trick or two

 And learn something new

Turn your colour brown

 Be alright for a night

 I'll drive you home by eight

 And it's a lucky day

 And it's an old trick

Sue me if it don't stick

Have another lick

 And put it in the back

 And if you like

 We'll label it the first stone

Let it quench your thirst

 You never sank

 So don't be sad, sad, sad

I saw him coming

 Said my sins ain't worth it

 But I know these tricks are older than him

I worked in the circus

 And I know on the surface

 Though I'm wise, I'm also pretty and slim

We can work it out

You can call the prices down

 I'll put 'em up again

 Cos you know I'm not a clown

Turning tricks for you

 Was the turning of the screw

 Well screw this, I'm a fool

 But I won't be your fool

 (tool, stool, fuel...)

You try my wits

 So you know it fits

 I'm unusual through and through

No mirrors, no smoke

 This trick ain't a joke

 I'll saw you right in two

Honey don't be cute

 You'll ruin my best suit

 Well hang it all to hell

 I'll iron it myself

 You cut the thing in two

 Now what's a man to do?

 Well I can't feel my legs

 So put the hacksaw on the shelf

Outro