Standard (EADGBE)

Intro

 The last time that I saw her

 She was standing in the rain

 With her overcoat under her arm

 Leaning on a horsehead cane

 She said Carl, take all the money

 She called everybody Carl

 My spirit's broke

My mind's a joke

 And getting up's real hard

Chorus

 Don't you know her when you see her?

 She grew up in your back yard

 Come back to us Barbara Lewis

 Hare Krishna Beauregard

(Repeat Intro)

 Selling bibles at the airports

 Buying quayludes on the phone

 Hey, you talk about A paper route

 She's a shut in without a home

 God save her, please She's nailed her knees

 To some drugstore parking lot

 Hey, Mr. Brown Turn the volume down

 I believe this evening's shot

(Repeat Chorus)

(Repeat Intro)

 Can't you picture her next Thursday?

 Can you picture her at all?

 In the Hotel Boulderado

 At the dark end of the hall

 I gotta shake myself and wonder

 Why she even bothers me

 For if heartaches were commercials

 We'd all be on T.V.

(Repeat Chorus)