Standard (EADGBE)

My first crush on an Irish girl,

I was ten years old

And her name was Elaine.

Little red-head girl;

Well, she looked like you,

But if you were ten.

Which you’re clearly not.

Not that you l ook old,

But you get my...

I’ll just stop now.

Okay, wait, ‘cause I had a point -

No, I swear I did!

Well, I think I did,

Which is all my lif e

(Or since I was ten)

I have had a y en

For an Irish lass.

Because God knows why ,

Like the ancient curse

Of the shiks a queens.

Do I talk too much?

Which is not to sa y

That I’d want Elaine,

Who turned out to be

(When I last checke d in)

Republican

And a para psychologist.

If you’ve got a four-leaf clover,

You can make my dreams come true.

I will be your Hebrew slave:

Just do the things that Irish girls do.

Talk about potato famines,

I begin to cry on cue!

Sin g about the Emerald Isle and

Get your Irish eyes to smilin’ -

I could be in love with someone like you.

I just left a relationship

With a lovely girl

Named Alyssa Levine.

She was really great,

It was all my fault -

I just got upset

‘Cause she slept with my brother.

So I ma de a vow

Not to get caught up

In the dating scene

Or the whole routine

With the cousin’s f riend

Or the who-knows-wh at,

Like I need that shit.

I’ve got mark s to make,

I’ve got step s to climb,

It’s the per fect time!

I’ve got books to write ,

I’ve got things to do -

I go out my do or

And bump into you ,

And the jig is up,

And my vow is through!

I don’t know what I’m coin’,

But come in and ruin m e!

I will write my own “Ulysses”

If you’re there to show me how.

Take me back to Glocca Morra,

Bathe me in the River Shannon now.

If you’ll be Mrs. O’Leary,

Baby, I will be your cow.

I’l l deliver shamrocks daily,

Buy your pa a new shillelagh,

I c ould be in love with someone like...

You could be my inspiration

And get me past this block,

And walk me through the Great Unknown.

You could be my true salvation,

Unchain me from this rock,

And keep me from being alone,

‘Cause I’m no good at being alone!

Take me to another level!

Let me play in bigger halls!

I will do a Riverdance

As long as you keep answering my calls!

Get me out of my apartment!

Keep me from my empty walls!

Som eone hire John McCormack!

Start the Wearing of the Green!

Let me win the Irish Sweepstakes!

Let me take you home, Kathleen!

I can be in love with someone!

I can be in love with someone!

I c an be in love with

Someone

Like

you!