Capo 1st fret

Standard (EADGBE)

 (Original Key: )

Intro

(Spoken):

Good evening, I'm from Essex;

In case you couldn't tell,

My given name is Dickie, I come from Billericay,

 And I'm doing very well.

Verse 1

 Had a love affair with Nina, in the back of my Cor-tina,

 A seasoned up hyena, could not be more ob-scene-a.

 She took me to the cleaners, and other misde-meanours,

 But I got right up between her, Rum and her Ri-bena.

Chorus 1

/maj /maj

Oh, you ask Joyce and Vicky,

 If candy-floss is sticky,

  /maj /maj

I'm not a blinking thicky, I'm Billericay Dickie,

 And I'm doin', very well.

Verse 2

 I bought a lot of brandy, when I was courting Sandy,

 Took eight to make her randy, and all I had was shandy.

 A-nother thing with Sandy, what often came in handy,

 Was passing her a 'Mandy'; she didn't half go bandy.

Chorus 2

/maj /maj

So, you ask Joyce and Vicky,

 If I ever took the mickey.

  /maj /maj

I'm not a flipping thicky, I'm Billericay Dickie,

 And I'm doin', very well.

Verse 3

 I'd rendezvous with Janet, quite near the Isle of Thanet,

 She looked more like a gannet; she wasn't half a prannet.

 Her mother tried to ban it; her father helped me plan it,

 And when I captured Janet; she bruised her pome-granate.

Chorus 3

/maj /maj

Oh, you ask Joyce and Vicki,

 If I ever shaped up tricky,

  /maj /maj

I'm not a blooming thicky; I'm Billericay Dickie,

 And I'm doin', very well.

Bridge 1

 You should never, hold a candle,

If you don't know where it's been.

The jackpot, is in the handle,

 On a normal fruit ma-chine.

Chorus 4

/maj

So, you ask Joyce and Vicki,

/maj

Who's their favourite brickie.

  /maj /maj

I'm not a common thicky, I'm Billericay Dickie,

 And I'm doin', very well.

Chorus 4

  /maj /maj

I know a lovely old toe-rag, o-bliging and no-blesse,

Kindly, charming shag, from Shoeburyness.

  /maj /maj

My given name is Dickie, I come from Billericay,

 And I'm doin', very well.

Chorus 5

/maj /maj

So, you ask Joyce and Vicki;

 A pair of squeaky chickies.

  /maj /maj

I'm not a flaming thicky, I'm Billericay Dickie,

 I thought, you'd never guess.

Chorus 6

/maj /maj

Oh golly, oh gosh; come and lie on the couch,

 With a nice bit of posh, from Burnham-on-Crouch.

  /maj /maj

My given name is Dickie; I come from Bille-ricay,

 And I ain't, a slouch.

Chorus 7

/maj /maj

So you ask Joyce and Vicki,

  /maj

About Billericay Dickie.

  /maj /maj

I ain't an effin' thicky; you ask Joyce and Vicki;

 I'm doing, very well.

(Repeat to Fade)

CHORD DIAGRAMS:

  /maj