Standard (EADGBE)

I bought no gifts this year

 And I slept with your sister

 I know I should have thought twice before I kissed her

 But with the year we had last

 And the dress that she wore

 I just went along for the ride

 And I came back for more

 And I’m sorry, baby

(That’s all okay honey cause see)

 I bought no tree this year

 And I slept with your brother

 I wrecked your Daddy’s car

 And went down on your Mother

 I set your record collection on fire

 And said I never knew

 Felt kind of bad about that

 And I know you did too

 So whatever you say, it’s all fine by me

 Who the fuck anyway wants a Christmas tree

 Cause the snow keeps on fallin

 Even though we were bad

 It’ll cover the filth, we should both just be glad

 And spend this Christmas together

 I married you last year

 Bet you thought I was sober, right?

 But I was drunk as a skunk and I made a mistake you see

This could all have been over

 Ah honey please don’t excuse your behaviour

 Cause I hired a hitman and changed your will

 It’s now all in my favour

 So whatever you say, it’s all fine by me

 Who the fuck anyway wants a Christmas tree

 Cause the snow keeps on fallin

 Even though we were bad

 It’ll cover the filth, we should both just be glad

 And spend-spend-spend this Christ-Christmas together

 And spend-spend-spend this Christ-Christmas together

 And spend-spend-spend this Christ-Christmas together

 And spend-spend-spend this Christ-Christmas together

Holding on without any reason

 Cause something’s strong (something’s strong)

 This holiday season (this holiday season)

 So whatever you say, it’s all fine by me

 And who the fuck anyway wants a Christmas tree

 Cause the snow keeps on fallin

 Even though we were bad

 It’ll cover the filth, we should both just be glad

 And spend-spend-spend this Christ-Christmas together

 And spend-spend-spend this Christ-Christmas together

 And spend-spend-spend this Christ-Christmas together

 And spend-spend-spend this Christ-Christmas together

(repeat)