Standard (EADGBE)

Outside Goldsmith's coughing up blood

 Turner Prize judge gasps "Christ that's good:

 Leave it as it is, it'll get first place

 We'll call it 'A full shift at the coal face'".

 Oh well you're neither a Stuckist or a Y B A

 And you're no longer a miner as of today.

 Praise for the wardens ready to fine

 Anyone caught saying 'graphic design'

 Rag mag seller said I'd be in pleats

 Only when he'd been cleaned from the streets.

 Oh I could squeeze my lemon 'til my blues went away

 If I had possession over Pancake Day.

 Give a philosophy student a glass of limeade

 And he will say 'is this a glass of limeade?'

 And 'if so, why is it a glass of limeade?'

 And after a while he'll die of thirst.