Standard (EADGBE)

 I sit here by the men's room in this country bar

 Consuming so much beer that I can't walk too far

A month ago my lovin' lady had a cow

 When she heard that RALPH would not be back on NASHVILLE NOW;

Those old country songs that I've been singing all the time

 Finally drove away my wife and drove me outta my mind

 And the future's lookin' wierd, it's enough to make you scared

 And Because Of Country Music, I've Gone Crazy.

 I got holes in my boots, I got holes in my jeans

 Hold on, I'll be right back, man you know what that means

 Between the bar tab and the jukebox my mind got up and went

 I even voted for CLINTON for president;

 Play some HANK, Play some WILLIE, Play some PATSY CLINE

 Keep your finger off of CRAZY, It'll blow my mind

 And the future is the pits, it's enough to make you....quit

 And Because Of Country Music, I've Gone crazy.

Repeat 3rd and 4th Verses

 The future's lookin' dim, but at least I'm gettin' slim

 And Because Of Country Music, I've Gone Crazy.