Standard (EADGBE)

Intro

x2

Verse

 Well I was chasing down flies and shooting up women

Trying to get the whole thing straight in my head

Lookin for a girl who’d come with me swimming

And come and play tunes at the end of my bed

x2

And all the hardmen were drinkin down petrol

Bamming up the girls when in came the law

Heading for the door and getting tongue tied

When they asked me what exactly I saw

Chorus

So I’ll get some Monte Christo’s

And we can all go see the band

Well I may not be a looker yeah

But I’ll help you any way I can

x2

Verse

Back at my room I was making me nervous

Watching TV and picking my feet

Wishing I was pretty and burning my shoes

And wishing for once I’d kept the receipt

I called myself and wondered out loud

Tried to get the whole thing straight in my head

I left the tape running and played it back twice

But I couldn’t make sense of what I had said

Chorus

So I’ll get some Monte Christo’s

And we can all go see the band

Well I may not be a looker yeah

But I’ll help you any way I can

(play chorus chords again at Harmonica interlude)

Verse

 Well it may not make you handsome

 And it may not even make you feel aliiiiiiive

 You may not have the ransom

 But you can always count on this

 It’s him and them and she and me

And sick and muddy, everybody

x2

Chorus

So I’ll get some Monte Christo’s

And we can all go see the band

Well I may not be a looker yeah

But I’ll help you any way I can

So you can bring your wasters banjo

Bring yer sister and her friend Diane

Well I may not have a big boys pistol

But I’ll help them any way I can

And you can call me Cinderella!

You can make me your best man

Well you may be a right old queen

But I’ll help you any way I can

(play chorus chords again at Harmonica outro)

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