Standard (EADGBE)

This is hell, this is hell, I am sorry to tell you

 It never gets better or worse

But you get used to it, after a spell

 For heaven is hell in reverse

 The bruiser spun a hula hoop

 As all the barmen preen and pout

 The neon "I" of "night club" flickers

On an off and finally blew out

 The irritating jingle of the belly dancing phoney turkish girl

 The eerie glare of ultraviolet perfect dental work

This is hell, I am sorry to tell you

 It never gets better or worse

But you get used to it, after a spell

 For heaven is hell in reverse

 The failed Don Juan in the big bow-tie

 Is very sorry that he spoke

 For he?s mislaid his punchline more than

Halfway through a very tasteless joke

 The Fr?ulein caught him peeking down her gown

 He?s yelling in her ear

 And all at once the music stopped

 As he was intimately bellowing "My dear..."

 This is hell, this is hell, I am sorry to tell you

 It never gets better or worse

But you get used to it, after a spell

 For heaven is hell in reverse

 The shirt you wore with courage

 And the violent nylon suit

 Reappear upon your back

 And undermine the polished line

 You try to shoot, it?s not the torment

 Of the flames that finally see your flesh corrupted

 It?s the small humiliation that your memory piles up

 This is hell, this is hell

 "My favourite thing" is playing again an again

 But it?s by Julie Andrews and not by John Coltrane

 Endless balmy breezes and perfect sunsets framed

 Vintage wine for breakfast and naked starlets floating in Champagne

 All the passions of your youth

 Are tranquilised and tamed

 You may think it looks familiar

 Though you may know it by another name

 This is hell, this is hell, I am sorry to tell you

 It never gets better or worse

But you get used to it, after a spell

 For heaven is hell in reverse

 This is hell, this is hell.

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