Standard (EADGBE)

 When Sunday morning dandruff turns out to be confetti

 And the cost of living in sin would make a poor man out of Paul Getty

 The girl in your dreams would have you up on an under age charge

 And the man of the moment is the lifer at large

Chorus

 If you've got something to hide, if you've got something to sell

 If you've got somebody's pride she might kiss and tell

 Or wind up with a fight fan in the Hammersmith Hotel

 You better speak up now if you want your piece

 You better speak up now

 It won't mean a thing later

 Yesterday's news is tomorrow's fish and chip paper

 Your girl says she's leaving and this time she really means it

You can just look at the pictures, you don't actually have to read it

 Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

 There's a man in the launderette and he's looking through your

underwear

for clues D

And the milkman is working through the News of the Screws

 He says...

(chorus)