Standard (EADGBE)

As I was walking down the street one day

 I saw a house on fire

There was man, shouting and screaming out an upper-storey window

 To the crowd that was gathered there below

 For he was sore afraid

Jump! You fucker, jump!

Jump into this here blanket what we are holding

 And you will be all right

 He jumped, hit the deck, broke his fucking neck -

There was no blanket

Laugh?! We nearly shat!

We had not laughed so much since Grandma died

 Or Auntie Mabel caught her left tit in the mangle

We are miserable sinners

Fi-i-ilthy fuckers