Capo 5th fret

Standard (EADGBE)

Post office clerks put up signs saying 'Position Closed'

And secretaries turn off typewriters and put on their coats

Janitors padlock the gates for security guards to patrol

 And bachelors phone up their friends for a drink

 While the married ones turn on a chat show

 And they'll all be lonely tonight and lonely tomorrow

'Gentlemen, time please, you know we can't serve any more'

Now the traffic lights change to stop when there's nothing to go

And by five' o' clock everything's dead

And every third car is a cab,

 And ignorant people sleep in there beds

 Like the doped white mice in the college lab

Chorus

 Nothing ever happens, nothing happens at all:

 The needle returns to the start of the song

 And we all sing along like before

 And we'll all be lonely tonight and lonely tomorrow

Telephone exchanges click while there's nobody there

 The Martians could land in the car park and no one could care

 The close-circuit cameras in department stores

 Shoot the same movie everyday

 And the stars of these films neither die nor get killed

 Just to survive constant action replay

Bridge

Bill hoardings advertise products that nobody needs

 While 'Angry from Manchester' writes to complain about all the repeats on TV;

 And computer terminals report

 Some gains on the values of copper and tin,

 While American businessmen snap up Van Goghs

 For the price of a hospital wing