Standard (EADGBE)

Strikes the bell for five o'clock, Uncle Arthur closes shop,

 screws the tops on all the bottles, turns the lights out, locks it up.

Climbs across his bike and he's away-

cycles past the gas works, past the river, down the high street,

 back to mother. It's another empty day.

Uncle Arthur- likes his mummy- Uncle Arthur- still reads comics-

Uncle Arthur- follows Bat-man-.

Round and round the rumours fly, how he ran away from mum,

 on his thirty-second birthday, told her that he'd found a chum.

Mother cried and raved and yelled and fussed-

Arthur left her no illusion brought the girl round, save confusion,

Sally was the real thing not just lust.

Uncle Arthur- vanished quickly- Uncle Arthur- and his new bride-

Uncle Arthur- follows Sally-.

Round and round goes Arthur's head, hasn't eaten well for days,

 little Sally may be lovely, but cooking leaves her in a maze.

Uncle Arthur packed his bags and fled.

Back to mother, all's forgiven serving in the family shop, he gets

 his pocket money, he's well fed.

Uncle Arthur- passed the gas works- Uncle Arthur- passed the river-

Uncle Arthur- down the high street- Uncle Arthur- follows mother-.