Standard (EADGBE)

Well when you're down on your luck and you ain't got a buck

 In London, you're a goner.

Even London Bridge has fallen down

 And moved to Arizona, now I know why

And I'll substantiate the rumor that the English sense of humor

 Is drier than the Texas sand

 You can put up your dukes, or you can bet your boots

 But I'm leavin' as fast as I can.

 (chorus) I want to go home with the Armadilla'

 Good country music from Amarilla' and Abilene

 The friendliest people and the prettiest women you've ever seen.

Well, it's cold over here, Lord, and I swear

I wish they'd turn the heat on

And where in the world is that English girl

I promised I would meet on the third floor

And of the whole damn lot the only friend I got

Is a smoke and a cheap guitar

My mind keeps rollin' and my heart keeps yearnin'

To be home in a Texas bar.

(repeat chorus)

Well I decided that I'd get my cowboy hat

And go down to Marble Arch Station

'Cause when a Texan fancies he'll take his chances

Chances will be taken, that's for sure

And them Limey eyes, they were eyein' the prize

Some people call manly footwear

And they said "You're from down South"

And when you open your mouth

You always seem to put your foot there.

(repeat chorus)