Standard (EADGBE)

Fat ugly fat man swam in a red tire made of stone

 A painted lady paddled next to him with two poodles on her lap

Garbo quietly picked a flower

 While the chauffeur won his check again

 And Barrymore took an noname out and diamond fell like rain

Cisco Kid and a bald headed waitress trapped underneath a bed of brass

 The french cook served them chocolates and some cold cuts on the grass

 Louilla ripped her zebra pants in the polo lounge

 And Errol Flynn was not let in cause he was coming down

Up in Zanadu diamonds fell like rain

Citizen Kane was king poor Citizen Kane

Valentino suddenly appeared in his midnight blue tuxedo

 Had a falcon on his shoulder eating chicken from his hands

 And Fatty Arbuckel waddled by on way to the bath house green

 Frankenstein ate the leading lady and licked the carcass clean

Up in Zanadu diamonds fell like rain

Citizen Kane was king poor Citizen Kane