Standard (EADGBE)

Well, my name is Mathias and I came to say this:

I've got a big bushy beard and kissable lips

 And I carry all my fat in my ass and my hips

 And the rest of me is skinny as a stick

In the sixties, my mom was thin and mini-skirted

She was raised as a Catholic, but then she converted

 Because she loved my dad's religion; she loved him, too

 And that's how I was born a Jew

They lived and went to school in Buffalo

But my dad decided that they had to go

 Because the Vietnam War would not be good for his health

 And that's how I was born in the Commonwealth

Chorus

 Where we're born and when we die, we can't control that

 And life in between is war and combat

 There are targets you can shoot for, mines to circumvent,

 but, most of life is an accident.

I've spent time in Peterborough, and in Winnipeg

 And leaving is living: just use your legs

 'Cause everywhere is nice if you drink enough beer

 So some days I'm there, and some days I'm here.

And it's not about sowing my wild oats or whatever

 I sowed my oats when I was young and I thought i was clever

 And my oats all rotted in the field where they lay

 And I'm oat-less and unemployed these days.

So I have a ukulele, I have a guitar

 But I don't have a house or a kid or a car

 I'd like to keep it that way as long as I can

 But you know what they say about the best laid plans.

Chorus

 Where we're born and when we die, we can't control that

 And life in between is war and combat

 There are targets you can shoot for, mines to circumvent,

 but, most of life is an accident.

And an accident is something that you don't plan

 Like the Y chromozome between a woman and a man

 One day I might get hit by a bus or get cancer

  (or just stay on )

But right now all I am is a fabulous dancer

So dance with me, baby! Put your hands on my hips

 Kiss my aforementioned kissable lips

 Wherever we are, that's where we're at

 My name is Mathias and I came to say that.