Capo 3rd fret

Standard (EADGBE)

 He was skinny as a rake, like a two by four,

Ugly as sin, born premature;

Mother had trouble trying to take

 To a kid that looked like a garden rake.

 Ah sons are sons, and Dad wasn't proud,

 Didn't make him feel like one of the crowd;

 The wood-cuttin' boys from up in the sticks

Laughed at the sight of Earle. (Wimp!)

 He was treated like scum and he felt like dirt,

Couldn't lift a chainsaw,make it work;

Father often said that he didn't have a clue,

 And Mother didn't feed him, and he hardly grew.(Hungry!..I'm hungry!)

 So Earle disappeared for fifteen years,

Father didn't miss him and his Mother didn't care;

After a while they forgot about Earle,

And his girlfriend said, "Who cares?"

Stunned, stunned, stunned, stunned Earle,

Stunned, stunned, stunned, stunned Earle,

Stunned, stunned, stunned, stunned Earle.

In this little town, life went on the same,

 Till one hot July,and no rain came;

Great big fires set the country ablaze,

 And everyone cuttin' fire breaks.

 Ah, they sawed and they sawed but they couldn't outrun,

 The smoky fumes and the fiery tongues;

 They were losin' fast, it was lookin' bad,

Who would save their town? (Save me! Save Me!)

And nobody knew, neither foe nor friend,

That Earle had grown to seven foot ten;

Arms like culverts, legs like trees,

Fists like hammers and hairy knees. (Shave me! Shave me!)

Far off in the woods above the din and the roar,

 Came a sound nobody had heard before;

Trees were fallin' like a tidal wave,

 To a monster Johnson, red chainsaw. NEEERRROOWWWWW

Chain, chain, chainsaw Earle,

Chain, chain, chainsaw Earle,

Chain, chain, chainsaw Earle.

His cutter bar was ten foot two,

Turned the air all purple and blue;

Tasmanian devil in twenty minutes flat

 Made the landscape look just like Iraq.

With the trees all limbed and the fire break made,

 The townsfolk saved from a charcoal grave;

People gathered, shouted and cheered....

 (Hooray!) For this forest disposal unit.

Lightin' up a smoke, he let the chainsaw down,

Said, "I'm the guy who saved your town!"

 Then Earle knocked over a drum of gas,

Just as he threw away his match.

All the gas exploded and the town burned flat,

 And Earle ran off just like a scalded cat;

 It's been fifteen years his Father said,...

"And he's still as stunned as me arse!"

Stunned, stunned, stunned as me arse,

Stunned, stunned, stunned as me arse,

Stunned, stunned, stunned as me arse .... was Earle.