I Wish I Was Queer So I Could Get Chicks Chords

Standard (EADGBE)

A♯5 E5

A5 D♯5

B5 C♯5

Intro

[spoken:]

If your ass is a Chinese restaurant I'll have the poo-poo platter

Verse 1

  A♯5 A5 My friend Jerry B5Vandergrift kissed me in C♯5Home Ec. class E5 B5

  A5Later in the afternoon some B5jarheads in the locker room C♯5kicked my ass

  B5 A5 I said guys I'm like B5you I like Monster Trucks E5too

  Wanna see how D♯5many C♯5push-ups I can A5do?

  B5 [stop]

I just wish I was queer so I could get

Chorus

  E5Chicks dig guys that are

  B5Queer guys that don't dig

  E5Chicks that don't dig guys like B5me

  See I'm not queer I'm too ugA5ly

Verse 2

  A5But if I were B5handsome just imagine how C♯5great it would be E5 B5

  IncoA5gnito as a gay though but not B5actually that way though pseudo C♯5homo phony

  B5 A5Maybe it's a stupid theory B5or maybe just stupidiE5ty

  But if I was a D♯5queerC♯5bee in the fashion induA5stry

  Scoring with a B5super model would be C♯5easy

Verse 3

  Cause 'super A5model' means voluptuous but B5also is synonomous with

  'C♯5super dumb' E5 B5

  Ya see I'd A5be a good listener so she'd B5treat me like a sister and

  C♯5soon I'd become B5

  A5 That trusted friend that B5cares that rubs her back and braids her E5hair

  No it wouldn't D♯5be a C♯5week before I'm in her underA5wear

  B5 [stop]

I wish I was queer so I could get

Chorus

  E5Chicks dig guys that are

  B5Queer guys that don't dig

  E5Chicks that don't dig guys like B5me

  See I'm not queer I'm too ugA5ly

Verse 4

[play like Verse 3]

Doesn't matter what I'm packin' in my denim it's what's in my genes

The only smoked meat the only sausage I would eat is made by Jimmy Dean

See I'm not to keen on the smell of Vaseline

No I'm not Princess Di and I don't wanna be a queen

I wish I was queer so I could get

Bridge

  E5Chicks C♯5 C♯5 B5 A5 A♯5 B5 B5 A5 C♯5 D♯5

E5 C♯5 C♯5 B5 A5 A♯5 B5 B5 A5 C♯5 D♯5

Verse 5

[play like Verse 3]

Anyway if I were gay I'd have to change my name to Dirk or Lewis

Hang out with my mom's hair stylist his name is Kip he's got a lisp

he talks like this

And wear my mother's lingerie learn the songs of Broadway

And appreciate Depeche Mode and avant garde ballet

I wish I was queer so I could get

Outro

  C♯5Chicks dig guys that are

  B5Queer guys that don't dig

  C♯5Chicks dig guys that are

  E5Queer guys B5that don't dig

  C♯5Chicks dig guys that are

  B5Queer guys that don't dig

  C♯5Chicks that don't dig guys like E5me

  See I'm not B5queer I'm too ugC♯5ly

  And I B5don't shave my heiny

  C♯5Don't shave my heiny

  E5 See I'm not B5queer I'm too ugC♯5ly

  And I B5don't shave my heiny

  C♯5Don't shave my heiny

  E5 See I'm not B5queer I'm too ugC♯5ly

  And I B5don't shave my heiny

  C♯5Don't shave my heiny

  E5 See I'm not B5queer I'm too uC♯5gly