Standard (EADGBE)
There are Russians int the front yard, there's Martians on the ceiling
There's a Cape buffalo on the patio and you ask me how I'm feeling
There's a sniper by the swingset, the highway has been mined
Then here you come with a great big smile singing, rise and shine
Chorus
Well, there's nothing you could say that will get me up today
Nothing you have ever said that can drive me from this bed
You can call me lazy, crazy, call me stupid, I don't care
I ain't gettin' up, cause its dangerous out there.
There's a hunter from New Jersey in my kitchen drinking beer
There's a Texan out my window with a chainsaw and a lear
I could take a walk around the block to shake me from this slumber
But there's student drivers out today and one has got my number
There's a pounding on my front door its enough to make me scream
Why, its two girl scouts, one Jehova's Witness and a whole SWAT team
So listen to me, darling. Please heed these words I say
Its too scary here in February dear, set my snooze alarm for May