Standard (EADGBE)

There are Russians int the front yard, there's Martians on the ceiling

 There's a Cape buffalo on the patio and you ask me how I'm feeling

 There's a sniper by the swingset, the highway has been mined

 Then here you come with a great big smile singing, rise and shine

Chorus

Well, there's nothing you could say that will get me up today

Nothing you have ever said that can drive me from this bed

 You can call me lazy, crazy, call me stupid, I don't care

I ain't gettin' up, cause its dangerous out there.

There's a hunter from New Jersey in my kitchen drinking beer

 There's a Texan out my window with a chainsaw and a lear

 I could take a walk around the block to shake me from this slumber

 But there's student drivers out today and one has got my number

There's a pounding on my front door its enough to make me scream

 Why, its two girl scouts, one Jehova's Witness and a whole SWAT team

 So listen to me, darling. Please heed these words I say

 Its too scary here in February dear, set my snooze alarm for May