Standard (EADGBE)

This song can be found on the CD "The World of Benny Hill - Benny Hill

Sings?" which includes 25 of his comedy classics. It also appeared on

an old vinyl recording, "The Golden Hour of Benny Hill."

 Now I don't want you folks to misconstrue what I'm about to say to

you,

 But I'm gonna tell you about the women in my life.

 Now I know some gals who are real refined, but I always seem to get

the other kind,

 And maybe that's why I've never found a wife.

 Now I used to know a gal in Crew, she was five foot two and eyes of

blue,

 And, well she told me that her name was Lotty,

 But I think she was funny in the head 'cause she used to sleep under-

neath the bed,

 Her parents thought she was a little potty.

 But I kind of liked the way she'd smile so I went around with her for

  while,

 And I kind of thought of her as my bride to be,

 I said, "You're the one girl in my life and I'd like to have you for

my wife,"

 She said, "Now what would your wife do with me?"

Chorus

 Beware of wild women, those wild, wild women,

 Those wild, wild women around.

 Beware of wild women, those wild, wild women,

 And never ever let 'em get you down.

 One day I met a movie star, she was just getting out of her Rolls

Royce car,

 And she was all covered in diamonds and mink.

 Now I kind of liked a gal with money, and this one, well, she was a

real honey,

 So I said, "Maybe one day you and I could have a little drink."

 She said, "You're just my kind of man." She stuck a phone number in

my hand,

 She said, "Now phone me up next time that you're in town."

 I said, "Is this your penthouse," she said, "No, it's the fish and

chip shop down below,

 But you just phone me up and they'll call me down."

Chorus

 Now I was in a Chelsea bar one day, and there was a chap stood about

five feet away,

 And we was both admiring a girl about twenty-one,

 I said, "You just can't help but stare at that cute little chick with

the long blonde hair,"

 He said, "That chick just happens to be my son."

 I said, "I didn't mean to offend, you must let me make a mend,

 I mean at least let me buy you another rum.

 I said, "You must think me an awful cad, I didn't know you was his

dad."

 He said, "I'm not, you twit, I'm his mom."

Chorus

 And never ever let 'em get you dow-ow-ow-ow-own.