Standard (EADGBE)

 This song can be found on the CD "The World of Benny Hill - Benny Hill

Sings?" which includes 25 of his comedy classics. It also appeared on

an old vinyl recording, "The Golden Hour of Benny Hill."

Incidentally, C///\ = C chord strummed down three times and up once.

 Now it was Christmas Day in the jailhouse, the old man sat in his

  cell,

 "Put out your pudding, for trico," he heard the warden yell,

 "If you want trico on your pudding, put it out without delay."

 The old man put out his pudding, and the warden took it away.

Chorus

 What a world, (what a world) what a place, (what a place)

 Ain't you glad you're a member of the human race.

Now the folksinger came from America to sing at the Albert

  Hall,

 He sang his songs of protest and fairer shares for all,

 He sang how the poor were much too poor and the rich too rich by

  far,

 Then he drove back to his penthouse in his brand new Rolls Royce

  car.

Chorus

Now Annie's

  shorthand typist working for the

Her brother Jackie's in prison doing three years for forgery,

 Her sister Josie's in Holloway, in Dockmoor is her Uncle Jim,

 And her dad runs a pirate radio ship, but she never talks about

  him.

Chorus

Now three old maids had a she-cat, kept her indoors night and

  day,

Kept her away from the he-cats, thought she'd like it better that

  way,

 Then one old maid went and got married, the next morning she

  hastened to write,

 A note to the others which simply said, "Let kitty out tonight."

Chorus

Now the button was pressed, the world destroyed leaving just one

  solitary man,

 And at the top of the Empire State Building his lonely existance

  began,

 But his loneliness was too much so he jumped and he fell like a

  bird with one wing,

 And as he passed the seventh floor, he heard the telephone ring.

Chorus

PS- I don't know what 'trico' is, or if it's spelled correctly, but that's

just the way it sounds. (c:

This is one in a series of Benny Hill songs I've learned by ear. Most of

these songs have only three chords which makes it easy figure them out. I

might have missed some chords or put the wrong ones down, but the basic

structure is there at any rate. I welcome any comments, corrections or

suggestions for improvement.