Standard (EADGBE)

capella ***

I took her with me to the Christmas office party — mistake

capella ***

She did a line and started spouting all her liberal garbage

capella ***

Bro, I'm so ashamed

I never heard such shit in all my life

I hoped one day to mold you into the perfect wife

But you blew my hopes sky-high

 The bitch went nuts

 Started talking 'bout politics

In front of all my bosses

 Bullshit from the internet

 The bitch went nuts

 I'll never be a partner at this rate

Not with Jane fucking Fonda Jr. as my date

 Oh no!

Oh no, no!

Oh!

 (Solo over )

capella *** (Trill over )

It took me and a couple of men to restrain her, you should've seen her

capella *** (Trill over )

When she freaked out and keyed John Franklin Jr.'s brand new Beamer

She called us bigots with her fist in the air

And as she did they all could see all her armpit hair

Now they think that I'm a fucking asshole

 The bitch went nuts

 Started talking about vegetables

 To the wives of my coworkers

 Yeah, cruelty to animals

 She thinks because she reads books she must be smarter

 But now when I close my eyes, I'll be fucking Jimmy Carter

 Oh no!

Oh no, no!

Oh, no no!

Oh, no no!

Couldn't you have just nodded and smiled, from nine to twelve P.M.

 Instead of telling your conspiracy theories

 To all my bosses

 And all my friends?

 The bitch went nuts (Nuts!)

 Started putting down the Christians

 And all about what the white man

Did to the Indians

 How could I know that she never done blow before?

 She shouted, "Fuck Dick Cheney!"

 Then she puked on Franklin's floor

  (Solo on /// chords)

Oh no!

 Oh no!

Oh no, no!

Oh, no no!

Oh, no no!