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I was surprised

 I was happy for a day

 In 1975

I was puzzled by a dream

Stayed with me all day

 In 1995

My brother had confessed

He was gay it took the heat off

Me for a while

 He stood up with a sailor friend

Made it known upon my sister’s

Wedding day

Got married in a rush

 To save a kid from being deported

Now she's in love

 Oooh, I was so touched

 I was moved to kick the crutches

 From my crippled friend

She was not impressed

 Cause I cured her on the Sabbath

 I went to confess

When she saw the funny side

 We introduced my child bride

 To whisky and gin

 To whisky and gin

The priest in the booth

 Had a photographic memory

 For all he had heard

 He took all of my sins

 And he wrote a pocket novel

 Called "The State That I’m In"

 And so I gave myself to God

 There was a pregnant pause

 Before he said OK

Now I spend my days

 Turning tables round in Marks & Spencer

They don't seem to mind

I gave myself to sin

 I gave myself to Providence

 And I've been there and back again

 The state that I am in

I gave myself to sin

 I gave myself to Providence

 And I've been there and back again

 The state that I am in

Oh love of mine

 Would you condescend to help me

 Cause I’m stupid and blind

 Oh and desperation is the Devil's

Work, it is the folly

 Of a boy’s empty mind

 Oh and now I'm feelin’ dangerous

Riding on city buses

 For a hobby is sad

 Why don’t you leave me to a living end

 I promise that I'd entertain

 My crippled friend

 My crippled friend

I gave myself to sin

 I gave myself to Providence

 And I've been there and back again

 The state that I am in

I gave myself to sin

 I gave myself to Providence

 And I've been there and back again

 The state that I am in

I gave myself to sin

 I gave myself to Providence

 And I've been there and back again

 The state that I am in

I gave myself to sin

 I gave myself to Providence

 And I've been there and back again

 The state that I am in

I gave myself to sin

 And I’ve been there and back again

 Oh yeah