Standard (EADGBE)

If I were Prime Minister, I'd transform the land

All things would be glorious, under my firm strong hand

 I'd enlarge Prince Edward Island, and shrink the tax on booze

If I were Prime Minister, the Leafs would never lose

If I were Prime Minister, French and English, would be gone

 There'd be no more two solitudes 'cause we'd all speak Klingon

 And I'd give my buddies jobs, they weren't qualified for

Wait, I'm so sorry, I think that's been done before

If I were Prime Minister, Canadians would tan

In the Gulf of Mexico, where I'd put Newfoundland

If I were Prime Minister, I would use my power

To finally make the donut, our official flower

 And I'd make it illegal to sit and bitch and whine

 Though that might leave Canadians with too much spare time

 And I would be Prime Minister if only for one flaw

I don't think that I could ever live in Ottowa

If I were, If I were, If I were Prime Minister (repeat)

 I'd bathe in Maple syrup and I'd have a talking moose

 And Mounties would massage me to keep me nice and loose

 I'd get rid of the Queen, replace her with my cat

 Appointment to the Senate would be trial by combat

I'd solve all the problems of this country's apparatus

 By granting every person, nation status

 I'd encourage global warming, move the jetstream further north

 And I'd ban all politicians, except for me of course

If I were, If I were, If I were Prime Minister

I'd be super great, and you'd all

If I were, If I were, If I were Prime Minister

love me, you'd have to, 'cause I'd make it the law