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+ This file is Jordan Lapping’s own work and represents his +

+ interpretation of the song. You may only use this file for +

+ private study, scholarship, or research. The contents may not +

Intro

Verse 1

I love you like kings love queens, like a gay geneticist l oves designer genes

I need you like New Orleans needs a drought, like Hitler's father n eeded to learn to pull out

And I want you, yeah, like a lawyer/mathemat ician wants some kind of proof

And I want you, yeah, like JFK wanted a car with a roof...

Chorus 1

Because love is taking that dive, then getting really comfortable and p eeing in the pool

And love is a real life porn, minus all the stuff that m akes porn cool

And love is a homeless guy searching for treasure in the m iddle of the rain

And finding a bag of gold coins and slowly finding out they're all f illed with chocolate

And even though he's heart broken, he can't complain because he was h ungry in the first place...

TRANSITION:

Verse 2

Because I love you like Dora loves maps, like the Pope's toilet l oves "holy craps"

I need you like a voyeur needs a branch, like boys tossing salad needs a l ittle bit of Neverland

Ranch...

And I want you, yeah, like all the gothic kids that look exactly the same, never want to c onform

N/

And I want you like Anne Frank wanted nobody to read her fucking diary!

INTERLUDE [continue G chord]:

"Because a diary is a collection of secret things that nobody's supposed to read,

that's the whole point of a diary. Millions of people that have breached this little girls privacy

after she was chased by Nazis - kick her while she's down..."

Bridge

And if we met in ten thousand BC, I was your caveman, you's my cavelady...

If we got hot - we'd start rubbin', if we got hungry - we'd go clubbin'

There's wooly mammoths, but I will prot ect us - you're making me devolve to a Homo Erectus

And if we met in 1780, I would be a white southern aristocratic plantation owner

and you were my dark-skinned servant lady... (slave)

Verse 3

Whenever I could get away from the Missus, I go to your shed and then I'd steal you kisses

But let's be serious, I'd still work you f ull-time as a slave

There's a difference between romantic language and complete disregard for socio economic trends...

If it was 1941, I was a Nazi, you's a Gypsy on the run - that's a little redundant

That probably wouldn't have worked out...

CHORUS 2/OUTRO:

Because love is your favorite food for every breakfast, l unch and dinner

And love is the Holocaust - if you don't die quick and you d on't get thinner

And love is being the owner of the company that m akes rape whistles

And even though you started the company with good intentions trying to r educe the rate of rape,

now you don't want to reduce it at all, 'cause if the r ape rate declines

you'll see an equal decline in whistle sales...

Without rapists, who's gonna buy your whistles?

Yeah, love is all about... wh istles

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